WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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