Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I am spending my child support on dildos
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
