yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
