Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
