I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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