Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just forgot I was standing up.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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