dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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