i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
