So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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