at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize