"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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