Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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