Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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