I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
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