or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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