Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
