No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Terrible idea I love it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
