You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
