I wish I could punch you in the face.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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