You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
