whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
even my farts smell like vagina
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
