ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
