PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
sarcasm needs its own font
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
