shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
