Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Randomize
