Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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