I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
