I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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