VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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