dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Mom said you looked used
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize