I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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