Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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