You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
