So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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