if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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