her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wish my penis had a tongue
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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