Already got asked if we're dating
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
