i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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