You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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