If i come over, it means nothing
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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