she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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