remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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