There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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