Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she looked like the before picture.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
