Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
