hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
