New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize