I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
