just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
