Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
