with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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