I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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