also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
