Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
