I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
