i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
A+ Viking dick
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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