My pussy is not your playground.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
